Wiener Roast

When is it time to stop bathing all the kids together? I admit I'm lazy... I tend to throw all the kids in the tub and spray them down with the detached shower spray. The process goes faster and uses less water, Al Gore would be proud of my "green"ess. Since my eldest is a girl and the rest are baby boys...I don't see a problem...but I did hear one today. I turned my back on the kids to arrange the toothbrushes, and I hear my daughter yell, "Mom, the boys are yanking their wieners again!"

See...my toddler boys have been officially diagnosed with "Manitis...the obsession of one's penis." This disease tends to begin at 12 months old and thanks to Viagra, it is terminal. I can't stand it. I am constantly yelling at them, "Get your hand out of your pants!" And now with potty training, the two year old rips off his Pull-Up and sprays the couches, as if marking his territory. I was forced to buy the pet stain remover carpet cleaner...and I don't even own an animal.

Ah, the joy of raising boys to men. I guess I can deal with the boys taking their pants down as toddlers...the hard part will be keeping my daughter's on at sixteen!

Martini, shaken not pumped

Today is the last day of school. Let the hell begin...

As the sun was trying to peek through the clouds and a bag of popcorn explodes in the mic, I stand at the sink. Its 6:45am. I look down and realized I had the dishes separated into two parts of the sink...machine wash and hand wash for my "more delicate,important" items. So I am soaping up my bottle brush and begin to wash my silver martini shaker and my crusted breast pump...from last night. At that moment, I looked down and thought, I have to start a blog. I reach for my daily dose of Lexapro and take out the popcorn for my two year old's breakfast.

So, I have never blogged, journaled, or kept a secret diary. I'm not computer savvy, don't face book or IM. I don't understand why people text and personally find it annoying. With summer break officially here, and now having a 7 year old girl and three boys ages: 3, 2, and just 4 months...I figure I should start writing some of my adventures down, for my sanity and anyone else who is trying to survive another summer break.

Well, it's almost a quarter to ten. I have to load the boys to go pick up my daughter after her half day of school...didn't she just leave to school? Crap, The two year old has just bitten into a dry packet of instant oatmeal and is eating it, again. This time its the Bananas & Cream version. Well at least he's getting his fiber. I better get him a water chaser, or he's going to choke.

Here I am at the sink, looking out the window...no sun yet, its a cloudy day.